BEST FRIENDS FOREVER

By: Chandra Goswami

Source: Internet

I often wonder at people who say they do not have any best friend. For me, it sounds like an alien concept. How can someone survive without having one?

I am sure many don't feel the need to have a good friend or confidante in their life. But I must add that they are missing on the best thing that life can offer. While all other relationships are preordained, friends are the only people whom we get to choose for ourselves. A good friendship can teach us loyalty, generosity, and patience. For me, my friendship is a milestone to judge how good or bad I am as a person.

But, a friendship like any other relationship needs years of work. You cannot build a strong relation in just a matter of days.

In fact, let me break the romantic picture that movies have drawn around friends. Nope, friends don't always behave like Jai and Viru. They may have conflicting interest, they could be supremely competitive with each other and even quarrel a lot. Yet, friends survive the test of time and stick to each other, accepting one another's flaw and mutual differences.

Having a best friend in life is nothing less than a boon, but the equation changes as soon as there is a conflict of interest. In most cases, people tackle the situation fairly well, but things become quite messy when you have two highly egoistic people tackling the relationship on each end.

In college, me and my BFF had always planned to see the world together. We wished to move to a big city. Very little did we know then that dreams need concrete actions to come true. When the time came, while I was set to escape my nest my friend decided to stay back. I was taken aback by her decision. Frankly, I was so sure that we were moving to a new city together that I had not made any individual plan for myself. I filled my applications for the colleges that she suggested and appeared for the entrances of only those institutes which she deemed best. I was in a soup.

I took it as a betrayal and decided to cut off my connection with her. I was heartbroken.

For weeks I avoided her and even didn't receive her calls. Finally, it was my mother who had to intervene. She had been a silent spectator to what had happened. She made me call my friend back. My mom reasoned out with me. She asked me whether I was going to give up on all the good memories just because of a single decision that my friend took. Being an over smart brat, I had always made it my duty to overlook my mom's advice. But this time she made a solid point. As a friend, I was supposed to let my friend have the freedom of choice.

Finally, I did call her back. Also, I must add that I did leave the city and go to another town. And throughout my life, I have remained absolutely clueless about career decision and choices. My friend has taken it upon her to fix me with a job every time I lost one and find me better avenues.

You must be thinking that this was just one little hiccup that we had in our friendship. Well, nope, there were many.

Source: Internet

When I was young, the society around me incessantly echoed in a single voice that friendship among girls don’t last long and lose its zeal as soon as they get married. But those carefree days were filled with possibilities. I and my BFF cared less about what the world had to say. We enjoyed every moment of timeless companionship without bothering about the future. She was my comrade in all my plans. We playfully strolled the lanes of our city visiting shops or simply relating tales of unrequited love to each other, over a cup of coffee.  But one fine day I met the guy whom I wanted to marry.

Soon, the feeling of being abandoned sneaked into my friend’s mind. The fear of getting emotionally ditched had made her very formal and increasingly distant. She would call me less, spend more time with other friends or make plans with them. I understood that her pride restrained her from letting me know how scared she was.

As far as I was concerned, I felt frustrated and angry. Though the strain of the time couldn't dent our friendship, this was perhaps the toughest time for both of us.

The difficult job of balancing between a friend and a life partner drained me psychologically. A subtle guilt of devoting more time to the man took over and soon my anger took the shape of ego. It hindered whatever chances we had of resolving our issues. When one of our common friends informed me that my BFF was also seeing someone my rage touched the volcanic magnitude. This time I needed a clarification for being dethroned from the position of a crony.

I remember I had made the longest STD call of my life that day. It was a long session of loud argument over the phone. I told her how mean she was, blaming her of jealousy while she counter-reacted with her slashing tongue.

And then she cried over the phone, wept like a child and my anger turned into a silent remorse. It didn't take us long to realize that we were being immature.

It is true that at times our best friends do get neglected while we try to accommodate new relations in our life. But, new relations don’t replace old bonds. I needed her more than ever after my marriage. This phase was full of uncertainties and poignant experiences. In such situations, it was her company that kept my morale high.

I have realized that with time, I am more in need of this friendship than ever before. I have grown into a recluse and it’s tedious to adjust with the trends of the world. But the August friendship of mine is like a golden beam of sun. It knows all my flaws and my darkness. I no more need to pretend with her. I can fight with her and quarrel like a sister. And that's the peace of mind that we have reached in our relation.

Between all our responsibilities and duties our friendship gives us a chance to remain innocent. Between our undeterred laughter on girly jokes, we find the life of blithe. I know such moments are random. They must be treasured because they could only be lived with our best friends forever.