8 Types Of Men Spotted in Pubs

By: Mehnaz Farooque

Thank God my flatmate is equally affirmative in dancing and outing just like me. So, to abide by the rules of one of the most happening cities in our country, Bangalore, I hopped on a roller-coaster of clubs every weekend since I moved here. Besides the usual liking of going out all dressed up and dancing like I-RULE-THIS-WORLD (for no reason), I happen to like pubs just to notice the people around. Although it's the same music everywhere as in like there will be "Shape of You" and "Tamma Tamma" as default, it's interesting to notice the same type of “men” in these pubs.

Image Source: Internet

So, with an experience of mere 3 months of excessive clubbing, I came to know that there are 8 types of men that we come across every Friday in every club.

The Geeks: These are the well-paid employees of some posh MNCs who didn’t have any social life prior to their jobs. They studied their asses off to be in a position where now they can pay their bills without a sweat (unlike many of us, who happen to be on loan after each Friday). So, these men are typically in some geeky tees (Superhero or some college name tee). They are usually in a group of 5 or 6. They take a table, order drinks and talk about some geeky stuff or women that are out of their leagues. Many times each of them settle for one woman in the pub respectively and keeps observing without the guts to go out and actually talk to the girl.

A free advice- “If you are in the cute geek zone, chances are that the woman can actually revert to you positively. So gather some red bull (in case alcohol isn't working) and TRY!

The Boyfriends: I still don’t understand why these guys are even in clubs. All they do is look for a table, think about sex after the dinner, and sit in a corner with their girls. If that was the scene, you could have just gone to a restaurant that had a bar. I mean, they literally do nothing, but order a pitcher or a tower and sit there the entire night. At least, try to be a little upbeat, since the DJ is trying hard already! I know it’s your choice where to be, but come on, a little shaking the leg won’t kill you. And if dance isn't your thing then you should have just found a live music place.

And BTW, how on earth do you even converse in a club? Since you and your girl are just trying to have a good “us” time!

The Duo: In every club, I notice a duo. A duo is a two men pair that comes to the club thinking they will have some “bro” time, but usually end up trying for women. They will come to the club, have drinks, shake their booties to a few songs, and then start the scanning part. They will look out for their probable options - single girls’ groups are the ones they target. And luckily if the girls are allowing them to dance, they will corner each one respectively and start the whole “Come on. Let’s dance" scene only with the hope of getting an invite to come over, or at least a phone number.

Dude! 90% percent chances are, you are just a guy who is meant for this evening’s dance session. You are not going to be more than that. Period!

The “FRIENDS”: These men come with a bigger group of 7 to 8. There will be boyfriends, their girlfriends, and single men. They all keep dancing and drinking like a “We are family scene” and then the single men notice girls. In order to come closer to them, they will ask their bro’s girlfriend to go mingle with those girls. And accordingly, they plot the plan. The bro’s girlfriend approaches the ladies group and then introduces her single friends. After all, it’s about loving your FRIENDS! 

To the guys belonging to this group, women usually notice the ones who aren’t trying much. So, keep it a low key. 

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The Married Ones:  These are some middle-aged married couples who are just trying to feel a little younger. They keep dancing though they don’t know any shit about Sia’s "cheap thrills" lyrics. But boy, they dance. I usually like them, because they don’t trouble anyone and just copy a few steps.

The Always Frustrated Single Types: These are the men in the age group of 36 to 45. They have money, but no babe. And so they come to a club (paying the cover charge) and get drunk and try on every girl that they see. How to spot them? Well, they are the ones who keep asking, “Would you like to drink something?” But don’t confuse them with the other type (coming up). And yes, they might be even seen taking selfies on the dance floor with women who they have just met!

Guys, these are clubs! Just dance, drink and leave. Don't be gluey!

The Less Frustrated, but Aroused Dudes: These are the men who usually come with the worst pickup lines and are always at the bar. And if, by any chance, you come to the bar after an exhausted dancing session for water (since a BIRA can be expensive), they come in smoothly. Usual line, “I saw you on the dance floor, you look amazing while dancing. Can I get you a drink”? On a personal level, I replied with “ The dance floor is above and you must have been sitting here drinking since all night. You haven’t seen me dancing and yes that’s a cliché pickup line.”

These men, however, do manage to find some companions, TBH. So yeah work on the lines may be?

The Genuine Ones: These are very rare to find. They are the ones who are here just to enjoy time with friends. They drink, they dance and if they come across a girl they seem to like, they approach. No beating around the bush, no pickup lines and no helping hands. They are just cool enough to go and ask her for a dance.

It works most of the time. So yeah, keep going, you guys are pretty difficult to find.

So, here were my 8 types of men that I usually happen to notice. Do let me know the other types, if any, in the comments below.