Prime Time Drama

By: Arastah Jannat Islam

Act 1

Scene I: A studio set up. A man and a lady speaking in a dramatic tone.

Scene II: An (preferably) outdoor location. A man (or a lady) speaking in a high decibel tone with over dramatic, over expressive and asthmatic (just in a way that they have trouble breathing)  manner. Loud dramatic background score playing at the background.
(The act and scene arrangement repeats itself with few thematic changes. The scene set up keeps on repeating as well.)

Nope! This is not a scene from our desi daily soaps. Not even an over-the-top, melodramatic Bollywood flick from the 90s.
Any guesses?
Anyone?
Okay. Let's just cut....the drama short.
This is our very own, super informative, thought provoking, educative, revolutionary, life changing, greatness incurring...
Ladies and gentlemen...here's presenting to you...

NEWS CHANNELS.......!!!


 Do I hear claps? Come on people! Let's put our hands together for our great News Channels. They already are making so much noise (pun intended), lets make some noise too.

I know this was painfully dramatic to bear. But couldn't really help it. Our respected news channels are feeding us with so much drama everyday that drama has almost become the middle name of we Indians (hope the use of the term doesn't get me into trouble). So much drama that even the saas-bahu people will be zero compared to them.

A news is kept on playing till the news gets instilled in the mind and soul of the audience. They make it a point that if someone asks us about a particular news we should be able to relay it the way they want us to perceive. Here let me tell you something about how to use the plethora of news channels to our benefit. You may follow a particular channel, but try to use the "great gyans" from the anchors or the journalists (read pseudo-journalists) to show off your knowledgeable self. But, do it at your own risk! What may happen is that you live all your life with the information of such credible beings and suddenly you realize that...you were wrong; the information readily served to you was a half-truth. And when you thought you were the intelligent, intellectual, the informed one, you actually were the entertainer. That way, you can surely prove yourself to be the life of an adda. You can make people smile and reconsider their value and contribution towards a happy society.



Of late, I have been really amused by our news givers. Some great scientific conclusions have been drawn by them (scientists should leave their jobs). Every event that takes place or will take place is analyzed and presented according to their point of view. So basically, we don't need to use our heads to come up with a conclusion about our surroundings, as the channels take this huge responsibility upon their noble shoulders. Applause!
                                                          
According to my journalist friends, journalists (the real ones) are news givers and not opinion makers. They are supposed to give us the information, while the conclusions are left for the audience, readers etc. But that sounds so blunt and boring.

To add to it, the informations should be factual and unbiased. Now thats too much. How can one imagine good superficial entertainment without the extra zing, hyperactive behavior of anchors and of course some great fictions! And of course the background scores. Groundbreaking!

We, as country, should feel blessed to have such entertainers in our lives. Even the most serious event can be so loud that you can't just ignore. They may even make a real life death look like a movie scene with music in the background. And the voice overs, as well as the reporters seem so inspired by the dying art called jatra (folk theater). We really should be proud of such dynamic contributions of media towards our society.
After all, what's in a news if not presented by our desi news channels!


Hail News Channels!

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