It's All About Getting Hitched!
By Arastah Jannat Islam
The other day I wrote something on my wall (of "social networking site" of course!) - "The leap is taken". It was purely written in context to a long pending situation that I required to decide upon and it had absolutely nothing to do with anything related to "nuptial union". Well... It's not like, I was oblivious to such an eventual development of the matter. Of course, while putting up the post it did not at all come to my mind that some confusion might get surfaced. It was only clicking upon the post icon I realized that I must get ready for some commotion.
No...I wasn't getting married!
However, thoughts of ninety-five percent of those who came across the post were redirected to the conventionally and socially certified ultimate goal of life i.e. Marriage. Congratulatory messages and calls came pouring in for the big 'leap'. Excited people congratulated and asked about the lucky one. Some even thanked the super power for finally, I was supposedly acting sensibly. But alas! I committed the sin of putting an end to their long borne desire to see anyone and everyone getting married.
Not their fault actually. To start with, it's a woman, single and the cherry upon the cake is that she has already crossed that dangerous threshold of age and stepped into the zone of the tricenarians. In such circumstances other than a marriage, no other happy, significant transition in life could be expected. The highest social achievement a person can attain is the marital bliss and anything else is just an existential impasse.
No...I'm not against marriage.
But I am indeed against the obsessive compulsive hullabaloo that goes around this term called "marriage". I could never get the fact behind all these chaos though. A basic scene from a random household with one or more adult progeny or progenies (especially in a desi household) is as follows:
Relative/s: Is that a full-grown progeny?
Progenitor (with an unnecessary wide smile): Oh yes yes.
Relative/s: Did you think of its marriage? (Direct translation from any local language)
Progenitor (with a long face): No. Do you know any prospective spouse?
And this is the premonition to a drama till one of the progenies get "their palms coloured" (yellow colour to be precise). And let me mention that the other character, the one who is shouldering this huge responsibility of getting you hitched might not be a 'relative/s', they can be bevy of ladies (especially aunties) from the neighbourhood, some random relative of your distant relative, some never-seen family friends, some acquaintance your mom bumped in some random wedding, or it could be a total stranger turned acquaintance in another random wedding. The list can actually be quite long, these are just a few.
Yes...I sound like an annoyed soul.
Overdoing of anything can annoy me and this extravagant concern of people I don't really care about (except when they poke their precious noses in my life) trying to take control over my life blows the annoyance out of proportion. Interestingly, the ninety-five percent of the presumptuous lot, include not just that special group of matchmakers but also young, well educated, intelligent professionals from different walks of life, shining brightly in their respective fields irrespective of their marital status. Despite being educated people, they are so conditioned that their natural instinct on seeing a single woman directs them to presume nothing but marriage. It could have been easily a career decision or relocating to a new place or anything else. But the preconcieved one track minds could not really go beyond the ultimate limit of marriage.
It is out of the reach of my psyche to ever decipher this exorbitant (I feel so) treatment of the idea of marriages (and also the various over the top ceremonies associated with it). I know not many people who would resonate my point of view though. However, I absolutely support the companionship, the partnerships and understanding in marriages. But then, I prefer to keep things stressfree and balanced instead of giving myself unwanted high blood pressure out of excitement. And when I actually get hitched, my friends, I won't just put an ambiguous update on my wall but I might as well end up following trend with ostentious display of posts related to my big leap.
Till then, let my single soul wander about the clouds and sing along with the breeze, as the leafy boughs sway to the music we create.
The other day I wrote something on my wall (of "social networking site" of course!) - "The leap is taken". It was purely written in context to a long pending situation that I required to decide upon and it had absolutely nothing to do with anything related to "nuptial union". Well... It's not like, I was oblivious to such an eventual development of the matter. Of course, while putting up the post it did not at all come to my mind that some confusion might get surfaced. It was only clicking upon the post icon I realized that I must get ready for some commotion.
However, thoughts of ninety-five percent of those who came across the post were redirected to the conventionally and socially certified ultimate goal of life i.e. Marriage. Congratulatory messages and calls came pouring in for the big 'leap'. Excited people congratulated and asked about the lucky one. Some even thanked the super power for finally, I was supposedly acting sensibly. But alas! I committed the sin of putting an end to their long borne desire to see anyone and everyone getting married.
Not their fault actually. To start with, it's a woman, single and the cherry upon the cake is that she has already crossed that dangerous threshold of age and stepped into the zone of the tricenarians. In such circumstances other than a marriage, no other happy, significant transition in life could be expected. The highest social achievement a person can attain is the marital bliss and anything else is just an existential impasse.
No...I'm not against marriage.
But I am indeed against the obsessive compulsive hullabaloo that goes around this term called "marriage". I could never get the fact behind all these chaos though. A basic scene from a random household with one or more adult progeny or progenies (especially in a desi household) is as follows:
Relative/s: Is that a full-grown progeny?
Progenitor (with an unnecessary wide smile): Oh yes yes.
Relative/s: Did you think of its marriage? (Direct translation from any local language)
Progenitor (with a long face): No. Do you know any prospective spouse?
And this is the premonition to a drama till one of the progenies get "their palms coloured" (yellow colour to be precise). And let me mention that the other character, the one who is shouldering this huge responsibility of getting you hitched might not be a 'relative/s', they can be bevy of ladies (especially aunties) from the neighbourhood, some random relative of your distant relative, some never-seen family friends, some acquaintance your mom bumped in some random wedding, or it could be a total stranger turned acquaintance in another random wedding. The list can actually be quite long, these are just a few.
Yes...I sound like an annoyed soul.
Overdoing of anything can annoy me and this extravagant concern of people I don't really care about (except when they poke their precious noses in my life) trying to take control over my life blows the annoyance out of proportion. Interestingly, the ninety-five percent of the presumptuous lot, include not just that special group of matchmakers but also young, well educated, intelligent professionals from different walks of life, shining brightly in their respective fields irrespective of their marital status. Despite being educated people, they are so conditioned that their natural instinct on seeing a single woman directs them to presume nothing but marriage. It could have been easily a career decision or relocating to a new place or anything else. But the preconcieved one track minds could not really go beyond the ultimate limit of marriage.
It is out of the reach of my psyche to ever decipher this exorbitant (I feel so) treatment of the idea of marriages (and also the various over the top ceremonies associated with it). I know not many people who would resonate my point of view though. However, I absolutely support the companionship, the partnerships and understanding in marriages. But then, I prefer to keep things stressfree and balanced instead of giving myself unwanted high blood pressure out of excitement. And when I actually get hitched, my friends, I won't just put an ambiguous update on my wall but I might as well end up following trend with ostentious display of posts related to my big leap.
Till then, let my single soul wander about the clouds and sing along with the breeze, as the leafy boughs sway to the music we create.
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