Mother: A search for divinity...

By Chandra Goswami

Source: The Internet

Motherhood is perhaps the most beautiful phase in a woman’s life. What makes it special is the fact that a woman is capable of loving intensely. When we love, we reshape things, recreate and build. As it is said if you give a woman a house, she turns it into a home, when you give her grocery she plates food and when you entrust her with the responsibility of rearing a child she builds the future of a nation. Perhaps it is this intense love between a mother and a child which has elevated motherhood to divinity. 

But should motherhood be solemnly entrusted with such veneration? Why not fatherhood or sisterhood or a wife is seen as a God in a man’s life? Why is it always a mother, who is deemed as an embodiment of divinity?

Could the fact that she carries a child nine months in her womb be the only reason? And here let me raise a very uncomfortable question…. In a country where child marriage is prevalent and a woman’s sole duty is seen as carrying the progeny forward, how many of us are really ready to be a mother when we are thrust with this responsibility? The girl child who becomes a mother at the age of sixteen, can she ever really appreciate the magnanimous obligations that motherhood carries?

Or does divinity comes from the fact that a child is more attached to the mother? It could be psychological since a child is seen as a part of the mother’s own body and mother can feel her child’s pain more intensely than anybody else. She feeds the baby with her blood and milk, she nurtures him with her uninterrupted attention, and she loves the baby even while she is in pain. If her unconditional love is the very base of the divinity, where does the seed of all this love lie? Is it just a genetic game, hormones that push her to love her child or it has more to it?

With the growing cry for feminism, it has been accepted that motherhood should also be a choice upon which a woman should have a say. With changing the time the need of a woman has also changed. No more the blissful family life is seen as a source of her joy. Today her own goals, career, and actualization of her identity are seen as her priority. In doing so, marriage has definitely taken a backseat. Of course, girls do marry, but only when they feel they have met the right partner. This has also pushed the age for marriage from 18 to 28 or beyond. Work, family, society, lifestyle and the growing stress today is making it increasingly difficult for a woman to conceive easily. The urge to marry is also losing its charm with the growing financial independence of woman. So we get to hear about cases where girls have willfully chosen singlehood over marital bliss.

But yet the need to be a mother has not receded. Even when she remains single the desire to be a mother sustains. Women today are opting for adoption or advanced medical procedures to become a mother.

  

Source: The Internet

In a traditional society like India, where motherhood is considered as a duty instead of a willful act, single woman’s desire to attain motherhood is seen more like a nonconformist urge. So, in our country, the irony is that a woman, who is married, gets the stature of a goddess when she conceives while this divinity is denied to a woman who may have a child out of wedlock. Unfortunately, even for a married woman, not everything is rosy as it seems. A woman’s ability to conceive is also taken as a sign of her worthiness. A barren woman is treated with utter sympathy, for being incomplete. The worst part is that in many communities she is also downsized as a bad omen, never to be invited to the celebrations.

So, where does divinity lie when motherhood is attained out of societal pressure instead of love? Where does divinity lie if it is believed that woman’s sole duty is to procreate? And here’s yet another introspective question seeking an answer. So, if motherhood springs from the hormonal process and genetic upheaval, a woman who adopt a kid or opt for surrogation, do they feel less love for their children?

As a part of this society, even I fail to answer such questions, but I can just sum up my article by saying this. The divinity of motherhood does not lie in a woman’s hormonal urge to love her child, or her duty to continue the lineage. Divinity crops from the fact that once a woman decides to be a mother, she accepts to take a back seat not only in other’s life but also in her own life. Her dreams, her aspiration, her entity dilute into just one identity… that is mother… No more she remains the priority for herself; it is her child who is her biggest concern.

I guess it is the tremendous urge of loving someone else other than one own self that allows a woman to take such a decision. She brings a life in this world just because of her urge to love another being. This urge allows a woman not only to go through the pregnancy pain but also selflessly let another being grow and flourish at her own expense.

Motherhood is the basic instinct of a girl since her childhood. You can see it even during her tender age when she is playing with a doll, lapping it in her arms or taking care of her pet. Even if we give women the right to decide whether they want to be a mother or not, it is impossible to take away the basic maternal instinct from them.

Love is what comes naturally to a woman, the most unconditional and selfless form of love where we keep our priorities aside to serve others. This very love has made women saints and nuns. This very urge to love and care for others is the root of motherhood. Some women show it for their children while few give it to the world and make this a better place to live.