Love, infidelity and struggles!

By: Mehnaz Farooque

In these times of constant distractions, cheating has become more common. However, irrespective of times and excuses, infidelity is never explainable. If you aren't happy, just walk out!

She knew that he had been cheating on her. But the mere thought of giving up the togetherness stopped her from confronting him. But every time she shared her bed with him, she felt as if she has been sleeping with someone she doesn't even know. 

Adultery and cheating on partners have always been a gray side of romance. While a cheater loses his conscience, the person cheated on loses her ability to trust again. And that can be a pretty big deal.  I have seen people being shattered and never being able to overcome that fear of being cheated again. But my point here is not to lament on the disappointments and struggles of being cheated in a relationship. I want to rather reflect on the part after that. So what do you do when you discover that your partner has walked on the promises and shared not just his body, but your trust with a third person? Blame, yell, break up or forgive? It totally depends on one’s parameters of dealing with this. Having said that, I believe adultery should never be forgiven or accepted. But to find yourself in a better place, make peace with it and move on.

Here are 5 ways to help you fight the pain and come out of it.

image source:internet

#1 It’s time to be stronger than ever: Usually, the one who cheats in a relationship is the one who looks for something else. Yes, they cheated on you because they wanted something else and that maybe one of the hardest things to accept. But you've got to be strong and take that in. This doesn't anywhere mean that you will look for voids in you. You are fine the way you are, it’s just that they are looking for something else.

#2 Try to be vocal: Once you know that you have been cheated, go and make conversation with the person. Be vocally clear with them. Get your answers because you deserve them. Don’t leave it open and not talk about it.

image source:internet

#3 Be calm: It is not easy to let go a person who has murdered your emotions in the most brutal way. But for your sake, be calm. A fight or revenge is never going to fill up your hurt soul. So be the bigger person and keep calm. Hear it out what they have to say. The more you are agitated the more you will be suffering.

#4 Let it go: Once the cloud clears and you can see everything better, it’s time to take your call. Think it through, maybe a hundred times. But make sure you aren't reasoning with the situation. In my opinion, a cheating cannot be reasoned on any level. They walked out and that’s real. It doesn't matter how guilty they are later, or how badly they are regretting.  And when your gut says you let it go, you should be able to let it go!

#5 Give time to yourself: The moment you walk out of the relationship, you will find yourself being surrounded by vulnerabilities, fear and loneliness. Give yourself some time, honey. You have been through a lot. Take that all and take the time to heal. In my opinion, don’t look for rebounds. Just be on your own for some time. And once you know you are out of that, you will find yourself liberated. That will be the best feeling.

I know heartbreak can never be mended with a few points or some formula. We all heal in our own ways.  But this is something to let you know that you can overcome it well. I met people dragging love for the sake of conveniences and compromises and we all know that never works. So, tell your heart to buckle up and fight the wrong that has been done to you. Compromising a betrayal is the worst thing you can do to yourself. You deserve so much better!

And after 238 days, one morning she woke up and didn't look for him beside her. She smiled and told herself, “Bravo girl! You finally survived it.” And she lived happily ever after!!!