Sweet Wars
I Fight with Mom; She Fights with me too
By: Satarupa Mishra
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| Image Source: Internet |
With daughters, however, things are a bit different. For a
daughter, the mother isn't the universe. She is rather the Sun that disinfects
and strengthens her roots and her integrity. In between this cleansing and
strengthening process grows a mutual understanding at a level of depth where
the flaws and the foibles of each other stand naked and exposed. And that’s
where begins a journey of friendship. In this friendship, sweet words often get
replaced by blunt truths and jibes, the surface gestures of respect by the
unveiled core of love, and the strangulating restraints by free-flowing
scuffles and sweet wars.
These sweet wars find different forms of manifestation in the
relationship of different mothers with their daughters. Here we discuss five
types of mother-daughter duos according to their choice of manifestation of the
sweet war.
This kind of duo is easily spotted in most of the common
Indian households. The mother and the daughter have to fight almost every day with
optimum force on the vocal chords as if the food would not find easy digestion
without this noisy outburst. And how would these exchanges even qualify to the
level of a fight or a scuffle unless a few neighbours could overhear and make
some opinions here and there as well?
Yes, the allegations, cross-allegations, followed by howls
and sniffles can any day inspire a television producer to produce a new reality
series called, “India’s Got Noise”.
But the best part is that these fights get doused off as
quickly as they are sparked. So don’t get surprised to see a mother arduously
discussing her favourite daily soap with her daughter hardly half an hour after
you’d seen them engaged in a fiery spitting of words.
The Socially Friendly Duo
If the duo discussed above believes in the Public Display of
Differences, this pair is a hardcore follower of the Public Display of
Affection. This mother-daughter duo mandatorily boasts of candy floss chemistry
in their social media accounts. Whether it’s a new recipe they are
experimenting with, a small achievement like winning the local Society Carrom
Championship, or wearing a new dress, this duo will have to compulsorily tag
each other.
“Baby, look I have
designed a new dress for you!”
“O Mamma! I wish you were here to guide me with your
impeccable style!”
Wow! How perfect! Isn’t it? Just try to lend your ears into
their homes to eavesdrop about the reality, and probably you will know how much
dagger’s drawn they are to each other’s tastes and preferences. But that’s
okay. We cannot think of surviving without their yummilicious dose of
lovey-dovey updates on the social media either, right?
The Cold War Duo
If you think the Cold War has been the most smouldering War between the two World Super Powers, kindly consider this: a silent war at home between the mother and the daughter for days, escalating into weeks. Both the ladies are probably handling the responsibilities of the household portfolios to unusual perfection, but without speaking a word to each other. Ideally, such a situation must have pleased the men of the house beyond words. But then they get so much used to the chirping, gossips, and laughter of the two women on normal days that the men grow scared of this silence between the mom and her daughter. It’s assumed to be the silence before the storm, as they say. Before the looming dark clouds could break into an irreparable hurricane, the men of the house try their might to bring the two female Super Powers of the house to a cordial settlement. Bravo! They succeed almost all the time!
The Bullheaded Duo
Even worse than the Cold War is the battle of the bullheaded
duo. Here, both the mother and the daughter strive to remain unconquered and
unbowed in all matters of dispute, which no smart male diplomat of the house
could bring to a settlement. A gullible daughter to a stubborn mother or vice
versa is an ideal condition for settling differences. But what if a mother
effortlessly passes on her stubborn genes to her daughter as well?
“You are being rude as
always,” sneers the daughter.
“You are being wrong as always,” snubs the mother.
It seems then that the firm conviction with which they hold
on to their respective beliefs could have together moved the Himalayas if they
wished to.
If there’s an Apocalypse falling upon the earth tomorrow, the
duo might reconcile, but with a sense of self-inflating greatness of forgiving
the other one. But not for once would they consider or admit of their own
mistakes.
So does this stubbornness conspire to reduce their affection
for each other? We better don’t even dare to doubt.
The Sentimental Duo
When it comes to the sentimental duo, the men of the house
better not dare to interfere. Else they run the risk of drowning in the Great
Deluge of tears.
Yes, the extraordinary belligerence between this mother-daughter
pair spans around the most ordinary incidents of daily life. The incidents do
not hold much strength of their own. But it’s the flabbergasting sensitivity
and delicate emotions of the women that get piqued and pricked at the minutest
bristle from the other person. What follows next is an episode of swollen eyes,
sniffling nose and tears.
This duo also makes for the cutest type of war where the
tears of the hurt woman well up the eyes of the other. They both end up crying,
and then smiling, and then hugging, and then crying again. The ruddy face and
running nose of the duo make for a sight powerful enough to draw a sweet
overwhelm.
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| Image Source: Internet |
Belligerence, conflict, clash, scuffle or war – whatever we may call it, these dramatic expressions of differences between mothers and daughters are the biggest testimony to the saying that FIGHTS ARE HEALTHY FOR A RELATIONSHIP.
A son might be the strongest sympathizer of his mother, and
be her most indulgent child. But a daughter is the deepest empathizer of her
mother, and is the latter's subject of secret dream.
“The dream that I couldn't live shall be lived by my
daughter,” secretly prays a mother.
And amid all the hushed up love, inspiration, dreams, and
prayers, it’s these sweet little fights that manage to surface at their
expressive best. And if you still feel that these fights are serious evidences
of friction between the mom and her girl, just try to speak something
scandalous about a daughter to her mother or vice versa, and the verbal
fireworks that you receive shall clear all your doubts.
So which type of duo do you make? Me being a true blue
Gemini, I make for a combination of three of these types. Yes of course, I
fight with my mom; and she fights with me too.
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